shake that cat

One (half-hour time slot) for the road

Two days into TV-Turnoff Week 2004, and if you are suffering from any of the following symptoms, it may be time to step off the wagon:

• Your neighbors have informed you that the next time you stick your head out the window, look around, and bellow "But what's the five-day forecast?" they're going to call the police.

• You've changed the channel on the dog so many times he yelps in pain and dives behind the Ficus if you so much as reach for the remote.

• At breakfast this morning you put the cat on your head, sat across the table from the kids, and informed them one by one, "You're fired." And now they want to take separate taxis to school.